Life now

I had a life once, much different than this one. I stayed up late, I took risks, I danced and drank and forgot my worries until the next day, I’d do it all again. I had a different life once, where 4am service station pies were normal, and the friends I had would be there forever. I had a life, so long ago, where I took all the blame.

I had a life once, much different than this one. I slept in on Sunday mornings, if I’d gotten to bed at all. Hangover, waking up at midday, falling back to sleep with no worries and no responsibilities. Spending my day in the park, guitars and red wine, waiting for the weekend to roll around to do it all again.

I had a life once, much different than this one. I spent my week working for spending money, turning up late, making cups of coffee, going home. It was different then, I supported only myself, I could have quit at any time, I could have stopped caring. My life was different then.

I have a life now, much different than that one. I wake up early, I play it safe, I dance to the Wiggles and worry constantly, I’d do it all again. I have a different life now, where 4am bottle feeds are normal, and the friends I once had are there no more. I have a life now, where I blame everyone else.

I have a life now, much different than that one. I wake up on Sunday mornings, if I’ve gotten to bed at all. Dehydrated, waking up at 6am, wanting to fall back to sleep. All worry, all responsibility. Spending my day in the park, feeding ducks and pushing swings, waiting for the weekend to roll around to do it all again.

I have a life now, much different than that one. I spend my week working to pay the bills, turning up on time, making cups of tea, going home. It is different now, I support my child, I can’t quit if I wanted to, I can’t stop caring. My life is different now.

It’s different, this life now.

Fun with nappies

That's his "Oh, come on.. what the hell are you doing to me?" face.

Why Carl can't be trusted to be left alone with Mason and a camera

8 weeks old tomorrow

It's been a while since I've blogged, but believe it or not, not that much has happened. Mason is growing up, no longer considered a newborn, and no longer in newborn nappies. He smiles most of the time now, which is a relief, it seems to indicate he doesn't seem to be traumatised by my awful parenting skills.

He's started cooing and gooing. His favourite words are "Guh!" and "Oooooooh". He's so freaking adorable, I sometimes wonder how we made something so cute.

It gets lonely sometimes here during the day. Of course I have my mother to turn to, but it's not quite the same. My cousin Hannah (who had baby Ashton a week before Mason) is away with her hubbie for work, which sucks. The lady next door just had a baby, but I don't know her really yet. I find myself turning to Dr Phil, and that scares me.

Devil child has woken, which ends my blogging here. I promise to update again sometime soon (i.e. before he goes to school)

Where the f****** hell are you?

On the backs of Australia Tourism's "Where the bloody hell are you?" campaign, banned in Canada and under serious pressure to do the same in the UK, I bring you a video of some alternative suggestions.

Funny shit.

You know you love him....

... when you're shoving one of these up his nose and suctioning out his nasal mucus while apologising to him profusely.

4 weeks old tomorrow

Time sure is flying. I was lying in bed at about 5am looking over at Mason lying in his bassinet, and I caught myself lamenting that he's growing up so fast. As much as I can't wait for him to start smiling (and not just from gas), crawling, sleeping longer than 3 hours at a time and in general being an independent little human being - I also want to make the most of him being tiny and newborn and innocent to everything. I don't want his hands to get bigger, I want them to stay tiny and delicate. And his toes. And his little button nose.

I guess it's part of what being a mother is all about - being conflicted like this.

Cutie cutie

How did we manage to create something so damned cute??